Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
