Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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