made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
