Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
