the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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