And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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