How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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