You kept calling me your small dog last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
