Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's like iHOP with fire
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
