my mouth tastes like poor choices
I will die if light touches me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
