So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize