Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
