I feel great
I just peed on a car
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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