Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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