that's an acceptable place to lick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
did i just pee glitter
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
