Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
