Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
