I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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