he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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