I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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