Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
