So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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