apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When did angry sex become our thing?
i've created a new STD.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
