I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
