: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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