You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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