Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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