i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im holly from the hills drunk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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