We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
