If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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