I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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