you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
