My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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