i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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