I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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