Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to

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  (413): I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to http://tfl.nu/oas5
  Replies (1) Good night (838) Bad night (942)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame

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  (732): my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame http://tfl.nu/4c25
  Replies (16) Good night (664) Bad night (1741)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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  (865): sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself. http://tfl.nu/7igx
  Replies (28) Good night (2937) Bad night (606)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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  (651): It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave. http://tfl.nu/tj8s
  Replies (87) Good night (617) Bad night (4415)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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  (336): He asked me if I "almost moaned" http://tfl.nu/8ba0
  Replies (27) Good night (730) Bad night (4763)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

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  (970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address.... http://tfl.nu/ivpp
  Replies (28) Good night (6320) Bad night (2098)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

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  (502): What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes? http://tfl.nu/o5zg
  Replies (17) Good night (4568) Bad night (1144)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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  (215): i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system. http://tfl.nu/14j2
  Replies (16) Good night (1257) Bad night (4117)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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  (516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa
  Replies (15) Good night (3818) Bad night (2899)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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  (412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm
  Replies (7) Good night (3224) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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  (269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt
  Replies (10) Good night (2810) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

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  (865): Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris" http://tfl.nu/5ny6
  Replies (6) Good night (2280) Bad night (555)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

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  (289): If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf. http://tfl.nu/kp2h
  Replies (2) Good night (1447) Bad night (614)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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  (617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance

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  (818): A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance http://tfl.nu/8es4
  Replies (7) Good night (429) Bad night (564)

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