we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
