Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.