Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

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(903): I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition" http://tfl.nu/bud7

Replies (8) Good night (1147) Bad night (3063)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?

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(612): When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/3y9l

Replies (16) Good night (3536) Bad night (1336)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

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(901): great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts. http://tfl.nu/3wub

Replies (31) Good night (4163) Bad night (914)
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(310): View more from California

Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

(310): View more from California

Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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(310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy

Replies (18) Good night (4565) Bad night (1640)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(403): She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/yw8g

Replies (6) Good night (801) Bad night (4048)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

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(803): I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy http://tfl.nu/vzq5

Replies (11) Good night (5180) Bad night (865)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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(519): Clothes are such an inconvenience. http://tfl.nu/1jcm

Replies (22) Good night (8405) Bad night (976)
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(425): View more from Washington

I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.

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(425): I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame. http://tfl.nu/kw0h

Replies (10) Good night (4752) Bad night (964)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend

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(708): I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend http://tfl.nu/sqgg

Replies (6) Good night (2291) Bad night (1070)
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(515): View more from Iowa

If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.

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(515): If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/dbsh

Replies (10) Good night (3198) Bad night (834)
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(408): View more from California

Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.

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(408): Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you. http://tfl.nu/z19y

Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (468)
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(416): View more from Toronto

At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"

(416): View more from Toronto

He was THIS close.

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(416): At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?" (416): He was THIS close. http://tfl.nu/s8nd

Replies (12) Good night (1550) Bad night (849)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h

Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (298)
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(561): View more from Florida

I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates

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(561): I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates http://tfl.nu/pbgm

Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (240)
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(518): View more from New York

you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.

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(518): you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/a1x2

Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (390)

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