Is it normal to miss your booty call?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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