my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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