I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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