he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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