Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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