At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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