Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
