Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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