just tell him i said nine months
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
