Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize