I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
