so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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