is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
