i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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