Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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