Where is the hickey?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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