saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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