I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
