Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
