SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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