She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
