The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
