So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
