I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
