Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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