i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
