Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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