Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
