i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
