I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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