Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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